


Rule of Threes

by thomasjeffersonsmacaroni



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bullying, F/M, Like really minor, M/M, Minor Violence, parental abandonment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-30
Updated: 2017-09-30
Packaged: 2018-12-31 18:59:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12138990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thomasjeffersonsmacaroni/pseuds/thomasjeffersonsmacaroni
Summary: Rey Kenobi and Ben Solo have gone through thirteen years of school together. With those, of course, came three graduations. How will they survive the last, if the first two made Ben unable to look her in the eye?





	Rule of Threes

**I.**

_ Finn: Hey ReyBans, Jess and a couple of the others and I are going to hang out at my house and finish up essays, want to come? _

_ Rey: Can’t, sorry, no way is Butt Plutt going to let me out of the house :( _

_ Finn: Aw, man. Have fun. _

Rey sighed and clicked out of the Facebook chat window. Besides choosing a college, she also needed to type up a lab report for bio, finish up reflections for her Mechanics club – if she was going to get an engineering degree, she needed them – and on top of all that, write an essay for math.

How on earth was she supposed to write an essay for math? Exactly.

Rey had adored her senior year, even though it had forced her to do ridiculous things – like write essays for the least essay-like subject in existence. Not only did she continue to be in her little friend-group of four that had existed since middle school, but she became friends with other people as well, a sharp contrast to her elementary school days, when it was only her and Finn against what felt like everyone else.

It felt good to be loved. It felt good to have freedom (Butt Plutt had suddenly become more focused on the young ones, and on the days that he took them on a field trip, Rey could pretty much do whatever she pleased). And no matter how much she complained, it felt good to be buried in schoolwork.

After all, it was just another step toward a bright future.

 

_ “Well, off you go.” _

_ Mr. Plutt, the foster director, practically shoved Rey and a few other kids out of his car. The others – fifth graders, mainly, with the exception of second grader Hannah – rushed inside, but Rey clutched her brown paper bag and quaked with terror. _

_ How was she supposed to survive in this new school, all alone with no friends? All the other kindergarten girls she could see had their mommies or daddies take them inside, and their pigtails were so impeccable that their mommies or daddies probably helped them with those, too. _

_ Rey’s lip quivered. She was all alone, like a tiny little speck of dust in a wide, far-reaching universe, and she didn’t know at all what to do. _

_ Just as the tears were about to come, she felt a tap on her shoulder. When she turned around, she saw a bright-looking boy holding the hand of someone who was probably his dad. _

_ “Can I help you?” the dad asked, kneeling down to her level. “You seem lost. Where are your parents?” _

_ At this, Rey finally burst into sobs, and the dad somewhat awkwardly reached a hand out in comfort, something she could barely see through the sudden flow of tears. _

_ “I DON’T HAVE ANY!” she wailed, dropping her lunch and trying her hardest not to scream too loudly. _

_ “Oh-” _

_ Wordlessly, the boy stepped forward and wrapped her in a tight hug, one hand stroking her back softly. Eventually, she stopped crying and instead watched the dad while wiping snot with the back of one hand. _

_ “What’s your name?” the dad asked. _

_ “Rey Kenobi. But Kenobi isn’t my parents’ name. It’s just what Mr. Plutt gave me.” _

_ “Well, I’m Luke Skywalker. This is my son, Finn.” _

_ Finn waved. Rey hesitantly waved back. _

_ “Can I see your schedule, Rey?” Luke asked. _

_ Rey pulled it out, and he inspected it closely. _

_ “Oh! Looks like you have Mr. Antilles, just like Finn. I can take you both there.” _

_ The two kids smiled at each other. Luke took each of their hands and led them to Mr. Antilles’s classroom, where they sat down on the carpet next to each other. _

_ Their teacher sat at the front of the room at his desk, fiddling with papers but saying nothing. Just as Finn and Rey were about to talk to each other, they felt a motion above them. _

_ Rey looked up to see a boy much taller than her or Finn, with black hair about an inch past his ears and a plain face dotted with moles and beauty marks. He wore a blue shirt, but Rey couldn’t help but think that it was out of place; black would have suited him about ten times better. Maybe a black robe, like a supervillain in one of the older kids’ cartoons that she wasn’t allowed to watch yet. _

_ “Is that your  _ girlfriend _ , Finn?” he snapped. _

_ Finn leaned over to Rey to whisper, “That’s my cousin, Ben. He’s always this mean.” _

_ “I’m not his girlfriend,” Rey said, standing up to look him in the eye. _

_ Ben pressed his lips together and sized her over. _

_ “You’re ugly,” he said finally. “I don’t like you.” _

_ Rey’s hands tightened into fists, automatically letting go of Finn. “Oh, yeah? Well, you-” _

_ “Okay, okay, that’s enough,” Mr. Antilles finally said, cutting through them with outstretched hands. “Ben, go sit on the other side of the room. Then, we can begin our very first activity: the Name Game!” _

_ Ben stomped off to sit next to a shy-looking boy, glaring at Mr. Antilles the entire time. Finn and Rey glanced at each other with smiles of relief. _

_ But both of them knew that their lives with Ben Solo wouldn’t stop there. And they didn’t. _

_ Finn had told Rey how mean Ben was to him at family gatherings. But ever since the trio had stepped into school, he seemed to have switched over to Rey. Every day was just another slew of bullying, never stopping or slowing down. _

_ One day, he would call her fat and ugly. Another, he would steal her pencil case and shove the pretty blue pencil Mr. Antilles gave her up his nostril. The next, he would dig a worm out of the dirt and chase her with it during recess. Kindergarten, first grade, second grade, and so on passed like this. And still, Ben refused to leave Rey alone. _

_ Teachers told her that he would grow out of it. But he didn’t. Teachers called his parents, gave him lunch detentions, scolded him. But he persisted. Teachers told Rey that he was doing this because he liked her and didn't know how else to show it. But how could anyone who liked her be so awful to her? It made no sense. _

_ If anything,  _ Finn _ liked her, but he said repeatedly that they were just friends. And Rey was happy with that. _

_ She needed friends desperately. In a world where Mr. Plutt had always taught her to keep quiet and not be a bother, friends were the only people she could tell about her struggles. _

 

Rey’s eyes shifted from her math essay – seriously, how was she supposed to write an essay for math? – to her closet, where her prom dress was hanging in full view. It was a beautiful soft gray, sparkling only slightly and trailing all the way down to her ankles.

She had gone to every dance with Finn since elementary school, but in their junior year, he had started dating Poe Dameron, so obviously her plans of going to prom with Finn were out of the question. Eventually, Rey had decided to go with Jess Pava, whose girlfriend was in a different state and too busy with schoolwork to come over.

It had been fun, especially since they were all in their little friend group instead of alone, and especially because all of Rey’s classmates wanted to hang out with her. Rey’s camera roll was filled with selfies and candids and photos that others had taken, all of which she had instantly uploaded to Facebook as soon as she got home. For the next few days, her news feed was filled with beautiful dresses and handsome suits, and each time she opened one, it felt like reliving one of the best nights of her life over and over again.

Except for Ben Solo. Rey knew that Ben had gone to prom, but he had only uploaded one photo of himself in a suit before anything had actually happened.

_ He probably didn’t have fun at all. _ Knowing him, and the way he had pretty much isolated himself from others for a fairly long time, it was likely. He was always that weird kid in the background at this point, usually ignored, but for some reason never forgotten.

Rey shook her head and looked back at the complex formulas. Graduation was coming up soon, and she couldn’t waste the last few weeks of high school thinking about people like him.

 

_ “Come on! We gotta go!” _

_ Rey tugged on Finn’s hand and gestured at the stage. _

_ “Finn, they’re gonna graduate without us! Hurry up!” _

_ Finn looked down at the black shoes that were hand-me-downs from his neighbor and sniffed. _

_ “Rey, what if I mess up? What if I trip and fall, and everyone laughs at me?” _

_ “Come on, no one’s gonna care. There’s so many of us that it won’t make a difference.” She hugged him and patted his back gently. _

_ Finn nodded reluctantly. _

_ “Will you hold my hand?” he whispered. _

_ “I’ll try.” _

_ They walked over to the line, but Mr. Snoke separated them as soon as he saw them. _

_ “Kenobi, go with the K’s. Skywalker with the S’s.” _

_ Finn sighed. Now, he was right in front of Ben, who was bound to give him a wedgie or something. _

_ “Don’t let him bother you,” Rey whispered. She knew what he was thinking. She always did. _

_ “I won’t.” _

_ “KENOBI!” _

_ Rey bit her lip and moved to stand between Joan Katz and Thomas Lester. For what felt like forever, she fiddled impatiently with her pink dress under the ugly green graduation robe, listening to her classmates get diplomas and handshakes and line up for the class photo. Superlative awards, such as Most Athletic and Best Hair, would come later. _

_ “Rey Kenobi.” _

_ Rey stepped forward and shook hands with Mrs. Kanata, who smiled encouragingly and patted her on the back. In the crowd, she could see Finn’s dad enthusiastically taking photos. She smiled and waved, and he waved back, arm making a fast sweeping motion through the air. _

_ One by one they arrived, including an extremely miffed Finn and a smug-looking Ben. Rey had no idea what had happened between them, but it couldn’t be good. _

I hate him so much.

_ Best Hair, Best Dressed, Most Artistic, and so on were given one by one to people whom Rey knew only vaguely. Finn got Friendliest, smiling shyly as the ribbon was pinned onto his robe. Ben got Most Intellectual, of course, and finally… _

_ “Our next award is Most Likely to Succeed. This student has repeatedly shown herself…” _

Her _ self. So not Ben. _

_ “…to be smart, driven, and capable, always striving to perform above and beyond in all of her classes. At our private Subject Awards, she earned a Mathematics Award and a Social Studies award, as well as a P.E. Award among her Specials classes.” _

_ Rey’s heart pumped fast. She jammed her fingernails into her palms so tightly that they left white marks. _

_ “For our Most Likely to Succeed Award, please welcome Rey Kenobi!” _

_ Rey stepped forward. Everything felt surreal, her legs nearly giving way and collapsing, as if she would suddenly wake up and realize she was dreaming. _

_ “Congratulations, Rey,” Mrs. Kanata whispered as they shook hands. _

_ Pictures were taken, hugs were given, and then, Finn and Rey were making their way offstage through the back door. _

_ “Congratulations!” Rey exclaimed, pulling him by the hand and running, untying her robe along the way. “You deserved it, dude. I’m proud of you.” _

_ “And you deserved yours. You’re like my cooler friend.” _

_ “Shut up.  _ You’re  _ the cool friend.” _

_ “No,  _ you  _ are.” _

_ “We’re  _ both  _ cool. Okay? And-” _

_ She stopped suddenly, and Finn jerked forward beside her. _

_ “Rey Kenobi.” _

_ Ben Solo stood in front of her, towering like a dragon before a princess. His hands clutched the diploma tightly, eyebrows furrowed in an obvious attempt at toughness. _

_ “I deserved that award, you know. I worked for it. And  _ you stole it from me!”

_ His teeth bared. Rey was tempted to take Finn and lead him away, just as she always did in these kinds of situations. _

_ But then, something snapped. Suddenly, Rey was tired of being bullied. _

_ “No.  _ I  _ deserved it.” _

_ She shook, palms sweaty. But she persisted. _

_ “You can’t keep doing this, Ben. Stop being a bully just to be a bully. Leave me alone.” _

_ “Oh, really?” Ben snapped, placing his hands on his hips. “What are you going to do about it?” _

_ Rey took a breath, noticeable but not deep. “Just leave me alone.” _

_ “Or you’ll have  _ me _ to answer to,” Finn piped up. _

_ Rey was about to look at him gratefully, but Ben stepped forward, now angrier than ever. _

_ “Shut up!” he burst out. “You’re so annoying! Just  _ shut up _ already!” _

_ Without a coherent thought, with barely even a second’s hesitation, Rey’s fist swung forward and into Ben’s face, striking him in the lower part of his nose. _

_ Blood came out through the nostrils, dripping on his pale blue tie before he thought to take a napkin to try and stop the bleeding. He stood and looked between the two, mouth open in shock but saying nothing. _

_ Rey shuddered. Her hand, no longer clutching Finn’s, was trembling, slightly sore from what she had done. _

_ The two enemies met eyes. An electricity passed between them, and both of them recognized that something had changed.  _

_ They were no longer victim and bully. They were warrior and warrior. _

_ “Let’s go, Rey,” Finn whispered. “My dad is waiting for us.” _

_ Rey nodded. But her eyes didn’t leave Ben’s until the two were out of the door. _

**II.**

Graduation, the day that was supposed to be the most important day of his life, was tomorrow, and the rest of the senior class was partying. Ben, on the other hand, lay on his bed and stared up at the glow-in-the-dark stars in the dim evening light of his room. He had gotten them even before he was in elementary school, and even though the rest of his room reflected his new interests, they stayed. They were, in their own way, the eye of the hurricane of his world.

His phone was silent on the desk next to him. His only two friends were busy with finishing up schoolwork, and he wasn’t too eager to talk to anyone else. Ben hated meeting new people mainly because he knew – and mostly didn’t care – that few people wanted to be friends with him. It seemed as if his life had shoved him into that reputation from the very moment that he was born.

A well-deserved reputation, people would point out if he told them about this, and Ben agreed. He really  _ had  _ been an asshole for the past eighteen years of his life. So much of one that it was too late to turn back now.

Ben stood up and headed downstairs. His mother was off doing errands, and it was his turn to make dinner. He could never make the complex meals that his mother seemed to make easily, nor had he ever tried to learn.

On the night before graduation, the Solos would be having spaghetti and meatballs again.

 

_ On the first day of sixth grade, Ben and his friend Armi stepped out of Armi’s dad’s car, brand-new backpacks weighing down their shoulders. It took only a few seconds of scanning for Ben to spot Rey comparing schedules with Finn and an unfamiliar girl with a long black ponytail. _

_ “Let’s go to French,” Armi, always the responsible one, suggested, tugging on Ben’s sleeve. “My friend told me that the teacher gets mad if you’re late, and it’s pretty far off.” _

_ Ben nodded, still looking over at his cousin and the girls. By this time, they had figured out their schedules and were ready to move. _

_ Suddenly, Rey put a hand on Finn’s shoulder to hold him back. Her head turned hesitantly, and then, she and Ben were looking each other in the eye. _

_ Her eyebrows jerked downward, and she smirked, as if daring him to approach her. So that was what Ben did. _

_ “Go on without me,” Ben told Armi. He hadn’t told his friend – or anyone else, for that matter – about what had happened with Rey last year, and he didn’t intend to. _

_ Finn and the other girl stepped to the side when Ben approached them, and then, he and Rey were face-to-face. Ben’s mind formed a snarky remark, but when he opened his mouth to release it, it froze on his lips. Rey, too, looked as if she were going to say something but didn’t. _

_ “I hope you had a great summer,” Ben finally mumbled, raising his right hand in a feeble wave and slinking off. _

_ For some reason, it wasn’t in him to start another fight. But everything else felt grossly out of place. _

_ “You, too!” Rey called after him. But already, he was running away as fast as his legs could carry him. He just barely managed to make it into the French classroom and into a seat next to Armi before the bell rang and the French teacher – a shrewd woman named Mrs. Diaz – stood up and began lecturing. _

_ Armi looked over at his friend with confusion written on his face. Ben merely shook his head and stared forward, hand almost automatically reaching to his nose in memory. _

_ That elementary school graduation had shifted the relationship between them like an earthquake shifted land. And that meeting just a few moments before had shifted it again. _

_ For how long would they keep going like that? Ben couldn’t help but wonder. Was there an end in sight? _

_ And most importantly, what else would happen between them? _

 

After dinner, Ben retreated back up to his room and got onto his computer. Facebook flashed a little green light next to Armi and Phasma’s names to signify that they were both online, but Ben ignored it. For what was probably the thousandth time, he felt an urge to scroll through the MIT Facebook page.

To nobody’s surprise, Ben had gotten into a ton of prestigious colleges when he applied in the first semester of his senior year. But since he wanted to be a math major and eventually a mathematician, he enthusiastically chose MIT.

Rey, he had heard, chose Columbia. Knowing that she wanted to be an engineer, and that she had a long-time dream of visiting New York, that made sense. One they were both gone, he knew, they would be separated from each other by miles – 205 of them, to be exact, according to Google Maps.

At least, the fighting would be somewhat over.

 

_ Ben was chosen by his teachers as Most Intellectual, and Rey as Most Likely to Succeed. So it was really no surprise to any of their elementary school classmates, or teachers who had heard about the intelligence they shared, that the two quickly rose to the top of the sixth grade class. _

_ Each assignment was a battle, like two boxers beating each other up in a ring, and each report card was the moment when the winners were revealed. Neither Rey nor Ben spoke to each other, but the intensity with which they scribbled worksheets and wrote essays and studied for tests spoke volumes. _

_ Sixth grade passed – both of them got on the honor roll – and seventh grade began. Rey and Finn’s friendship expanded to include Poe Dameron and Jessika Pava, and Ben and Armi began talking to a girl named Gwendoline who preferred to go by Phasma. Everyone else was either a casual friend or a mere acquaintance. Sometimes, Ben would overhear their whispers in the hallways. _

_ “Who do you like more? Rey or Ben?” _

_ “Rey for sure.” _

_ Or sometimes: “Ben.” _

_ Or sometimes: “Honestly, I’m just sick of the idea that it has to be one or the other. Why can’t they just get along? We’re all a team, after all.” _

_ Ben himself agreed wholeheartedly. But every time he thought about approaching Rey to apologize, or even ignoring the pull in his stomach that drove him to always be better than her, he was never quite sure how to begin. _

_ So he ignored it. He pushed it away, just as he pushed away most things involving her. _

_ After all, there was no purpose in dwelling on things he couldn’t change. _

 

“Graduation is the most important part of a growing child’s life,” a video playing from Facebook informed Ben. “And we hope to make this one as special as we can.”

The pro-graduation sentiment was pushed so enthusiastically at Ben’s high school that it almost felt like propaganda. And from what he had heard at school and seen on social media, his classmates were eating it all up. It seemed as if everyone was excited about the one particular day when they would leave high school and become certified adults.

Ben himself was excited, too. Some people would call him a nerd, but he wanted terribly to leave the small town that had brought him nothing but trouble. At MIT, he would know no one. At MIT, he would start an entirely new life.

But the act of graduating had generally not been kind to him. It was basically an endless loop of listening to names and getting papers and ribbons, then riding off with his mother and listening to praises that had been empty for a long time.

And Rey. Ever since elementary school, graduation had had everything to do with Rey Kenobi.

It was one of those things that had the potential to be good, but wasn’t.

 

_ Eighth grade. The official year, as Ben had deduced when he was in elementary school, where everyone was a teenager from the get-go. Where nearly everyone seemed to be thinking about boys or girls or both, smoothing their hair down in the mirror when they saw their crushes, nervously fiddling with the insides of pockets like they were about to give an oral report. _

_ Ben’s mother had told him, on a rare occasion when they were in the same room for a long time, that love was uncontrollable. _

_ “Otherwise,” she had murmured, twirling a lock of long brown hair around her finger, “I’d never have fallen in love with your father.” _

_ At the mention of Ben’s father, she had stood up and moved to stare out of the window. Ben guessed that she was wondering if – and when – he would come back from his “vacation.” _

_ He felt sorry for her in that moment. But she was just like Rey: he didn’t quite know how to approach her. _

_ That longing glance, mixed in a perfect melting pot with her words, froze in his mind, leading him to one devastating conclusion: love was uncontrollable, unstoppable, and excruciating. _

_ If the object of Ben’s first crush had been one of the other girls in his class, then he wouldn’t be in quite as much of a conundrum as he was. Even if it had been Phasma, who couldn’t be clearer in liking him only as a friend, then the pain of love wouldn’t be tearing him apart. _

_ But no. It couldn’t be any of his lady classmates, or even the gentlemen, or even the high school girls who came over sometimes through the student-teacher program or something. _

_ It absolutely had to be Rey Kenobi. _

_ Rey, with the face full of freckles that seemed to stand out whenever she laughed or smiled. Rey, with the gentle kindness and the quick wit and the potential to do anything that she ever wanted to. Rey, with the tanned skin and muscles from constant exercise. Rey, who wore dresses in the springtime and sweaters in the wintertime and looked absolutely adorable in both. _

_ Rey, who was perfect in every way. Rey, who probably hated him just as much as he used to hate her. _

_ Ben’s mother had told him that love was unpredictable. But if was only so if you expected everything to go perfectly. If you looked at your life and waited for disaster, then you could watch with pitch-perfect accuracy where love led you. _

 

_ Ben had dreaded wearing the black and gold of his school colors in the form of an ugly robe and cap for weeks before his middle school graduation. Maybe, he mused to Armi and Phasma, they would even be jaguar-spotted like their mascot. _

_ But a little before the day itself, the eighth graders were informed that ugly robes weren’t needed at all. At the graduation practice, Ben could hear Phasma cheering to herself softly. _

_ On the day itself, the group sat in the stands in alphabetical order. This, of course, meant that Ben sat right next to Finn, but instead of talking to him, his cousin leaned forward and chatted with Jess Pava, conversation fizzling with mysterious inside jokes. _

_ Ben decided to take the opportunity to look around the stands. He found his mother instantly, dressed in one of her famously beautiful dresses and clenching her hands tightly around each other. Next to her sat his Uncle Luke, who waved and grinned excitedly. Ben waved back before glancing quickly at his knees. _

_ Their principal gave a long speech before beginning to call the names. Even so, Ben was near the end of the alphabet, so he sat still, friends far away from him, for what felt like hours. _

_ Finally: “Finn Skywalker, Ben Solo, Lily Thomas…” _

_ One by one, the kids stood up and followed the path they had practiced. Ben realized for the first time that Uncle Luke was filming and regretted the bored glances he had made around the room. _

_ The principal gave him a diploma and a handshake. There were so few eighth graders this year – Ben didn’t know exactly why – that they were free to pose for individual photos. Finn obliged; Ben abstained. _

_ It was over after awards were given. Gone were the elementary school days of superlative awards; now, there were mere subject awards, including athletic awards, and medals for being good people (Finn, Rey, and their friends inevitably got those). _

_ Ben himself proudly brought his mother a Math Award and a Science Award. He quickly hugged both her and Uncle Luke before sliding off and rejoining his friends, who were hanging out near the school gardens and enthusiastically taking selfies. _

_ “We’re  _ high schoolers  _ now,” Armi whispered, wrapping an arm around each of his friends and staring longingly into the distance. _

_ Ben nodded wordlessly. For a couple of seconds, he was lost in the thought of being yet another year older. It felt surreal for some reason. _

_ Then, he heard a crowd of enthusiastic voices slipping through his daydream. _

_ “Okay, that’s settled. You were  _ born  _ to be an engineer.” _

_ Ben looked up to see Rey, Finn, Poe, and Jess, all clutching diplomas and chatting excitedly. He honestly wasn’t sure what he had been expecting. _

_“I mean,” Finn exclaimed, “you got the Math Award_ again! _And_ _the Mechanics Club leader, I forgot who it is-”_

_ “Mrs. Washington.” _

_ “She says you’re one of her best students.” _

_ Rey placed a hand to her mouth and smiled self-consciously, but Ben could see a spark in her eyes. He understood, in that moment, that she honestly, genuinely, enjoyed both mechanics and math overall. Ben knew very few people who were like that. Who were like  _ him.

_ All of a sudden, he felt an insuppressible urge to begin talking to her. So, barely aware of what he was doing, that was what he did. _

_ Rey looked at him warily when they got close. _

_ “Do you hope I had a great summer?” she asked, and her friends suppressed giggles. _

_ Thankfully, she didn’t mention their last graduation. That alone was almost –  _ almost –  _ enough to dislodge the apology that was stuck in his throat. _

_ “I hope you  _ have  _ a great summer,” he said in a voice that walked the line between mumble and speech. _

_ “I hope you do, too,” Rey said with a genuine smile. Her eyes seemed as if they were welcoming him to say more, maybe even sit down with her and her friends and be a part of the group. _

_ For a second, Ben opened his mouth to accept. But then, something stopped him. _

_ He didn’t know what it was. He wasn’t sure if he would  _ ever  _ know. _

_ With only a final wave to Rey, without even a goodbye, Ben turned around and walked back to his friends. _

 

**III.**

“Graduation!” Jess exclaimed when Luke’s car pulled into the school parking lot. The other three – Rey, Finn, and Poe – glanced at her in surprise. She had been silent throughout the entire ride, and this outburst was completely out of the blue.

“What? I just can’t believe it’s finally happening. We’re gonna be adults.”

Poe clapped her on the back. “We’re gonna be adults, and I still don’t know how much detergent to put in the laundry machine.”

“That’s what those pouches are for,” Rey pointed out.

“Oh yeah, true, true.”

Finn wrapped his boyfriend into a hug and squeezed him tightly. “I’ll do the laundry for both of us.”

“Thanks, babe.”

Rey and Jess looked over at each other and grinned awkwardly.

_ They’re too much,  _ Jess mouthed. Rey snorted in response and put her elbow on Poe’s shoulder.

“Time to go,” she announced, gently nudging the lovers forward.

As a group, they walked towards the crowd of their classmates.

Ben stood far-off to the side with Armi and Phasma. The trio did nothing but stare ahead, not even speaking to each other or to themselves. There was nothing that could be said to comprehend the immensity of leaving school forever.

Well, except for college. But Ben was ignoring that right now. High school and college were very, very different.

For a second, Ben looked back at his mom, expecting her to be sitting alone and talking to Uncle Luke. But what he saw wasn’t that at all.

She was sitting with his father.

They were about a foot apart, and they looked more like strangers who had just met than a reunited couple. But they were still together for the first time in almost fourteen years.

Something flooded inside of Ben, some sort of feeling that he hadn’t felt for a long time. He wanted oh-so-terribly to go back to them. He wanted his father to hug him and ruffle his hair and call him “kid” and tell him all about the stars up there in the sky, his mother sitting by their side and smiling again. He wanted them to hold hands, Ben right in between them listening to all of their murmured declarations of love. He wanted things that were impossible before.

He wanted things that were impossible now.

Ben turned away from his parents and kept staring forward.

 

_ Rey had thought that maybe, just maybe, the fact that Ben had approached her at their last graduation meant that they could be friends for the first time. After all, she would have been more than willing to allow him to join her little friend group. She would have said so if he hadn’t walked away from her. She would have said so. _

_ Yes, Finn would protest at first. After all, he had been the butt of his jokes for even longer than she had. But if he were to change, to become a good person and not make fun of people anymore, then maybe, Finn would reconsider. _

_ Every day, they passed each other by in the hallways. Every day, they sat in classrooms together, trying not to look at each other as they handed back papers and didn’t allow their fingers to touch. And every day, there were piles upon piles of words not spoken between them. _

_ There was so much to say. There was no one to say it. _

 

_ Rey, without a doubt, thought that she had a lot to say to Ben. He caught a glimpse of her face every time she saw him, the way her mouth opened as she walked in his direction, the way she turned around, face suddenly flushing. _

_ She thought she had a lot to say to him, and she did. But he, without a doubt, had much, much more. _

_ His dumb little schoolgirl crush hadn’t disappeared during the shift from middle school to high school. Instead, it had grown in size until it crushed him under its weight, impossibly big, making him impossibly small. _

_ “We’re enemies,” he informed his heart, trying to make it stop beating whenever he was around her. _

_ “Fuck you,” his heart said bluntly back, adding sweaty palms to the mix. _

_ “Thanks, love.” _

_ “No problem.” _

_ So much to say. But it was impossible to even begin. _

_ So he stood to the side. Watched her grow from a shy girl with a small group of friends to the most popular girl in their grade. Everyone wanted to be her friend, and why wouldn’t they? She was nice, always willing to help out, and she had a funny personality to boot. _

_ Someone like that would never hang out with the likes of him. Ben was fooling himself if he thought otherwise. _

 

The ceremony would begin in five minutes, and Ben knew that he should be heading back to his classmates. But he was frozen in his tracks, staring at the ground, memories and sensations and thoughts all flooding back to him in a waterfall of emotions.

_ 205,  _ he thought.  _ 205 miles from Columbia to MIT. _

Rey would be far away from him, unreachable, untouchable. Ben had thought for months that that was what he wanted.

But at the thought of losing her forever, he suddenly grew less and less happy. He couldn’t imagine a world, or a life, when they were away from each other. By this point, they were like two sides of the same coin.

She was the river, flowing in another direction, and he was the shore that desperately begged for her to stay. The shore couldn’t do anything against the river. The shore could only watch and wait, ever silent, allowing everything and everyone it ever wanted to arrive and stay and go. The shore was helpless against its inevitable fate.

But Ben wasn’t.

Already planning what he was going to say, he broke into a run towards the gathering crowd.

 

_ The warning bell sounded through the school hallways, but Rey was still nowhere near her first period Chem classroom. She had spent so much time talking to her friend Daniel, who didn’t understand last night’s math homework, that she had lost track of all time. _

_ Slender athletic feet pounded on the school’s floor tiles. Rey was fast from years of experience, and if she tried hard enough, she would be able to make it. _

_ The seconds ticked on. Tick, tick, tick. Pound, pound, pound. Hurry, hurry, hurry. _

CRASH!

_ Rey felt a tall figure, significantly larger than her own, bump into her. All of the books she had been holding, the ones that couldn’t fit in her small backpack, tumbled to the floor. _

_ Ben had been standing in front of her, but he almost instantly squatted down and picked up her books, muttering apologies as he placed them into her hands. The fact that she wasn’t ready only made them crash to the floor again, where she held up a hand and picked them up on her own. _

_ “Sorry,” Ben said genuinely. “You all right?” _

_ Rey nodded. “Just late for my class. It’s okay. Thank you for your help.” _

_ His mouth pulled apart into a grin that was strangely awkward, as if it hadn’t been used in a long, time. _

_ “No problem.” Ben’s voice was as quiet as him. “No problem at all.” _

_ And then, he turned around and left. _

_ Rey clutched her books against her chest and watched Ben’s retreating figure. He was practically running, even though his next class wasn’t far away at all. _

_ Their rivalry was still strong, even if people could barely see it at all. And the claim that they were mere acquaintances was only halfway true. _

_ Rey couldn’t help but think about world history. So many civilizations had fallen apart because of wars and conflict – Han, Gupta, and Rome, from the ones she could remember. And so many people had been ruined by bullying. _

_ But civilizations didn’t fall from the ghosts of hatred. People didn’t break from awkward glances and former enmities. _

_ In a perfect world, one where people weren’t in-between about their friends and enemies, none of this would be happening. Rey would bite her lip and look down at her hand and tap Ben on the shoulder in between their classes. He would turn around and kneel down to look her in the eye. She had played this scene out in her head so much that she had handled every single detail already. _

_ “Hey,” she would say. “I want to talk to you.” _

_ “What about?” he would ask, letting her lead him outside to a place where it was quiet. _

_ “You know we can’t keep doing this, right? It’s dumb and immature and based on your asshattery when you were in elementary school that for some reason turned into an ongoing rivalry. So how about you apologize, and I accept your apology, and we stop being enemies. We don’t have to be friends. I just want us to stop this stupid fighting.” _

_ He would narrow his eyes, those beautiful, brown eyes, and his eyebrows would furrow together in thought. He would shake a bit, but Rey would not be afraid of him anymore. He was learning to control those tantrums that had plagued him for so long throughout elementary school, and she was growing old enough to not give a shit about assholes like that. _

_ “Fine,” he would mumble, staring down at his sneakers. “I’m sorry.” _

_ “I forgive you,” she would say, not looking away once. And then she would walk away, and that would be that. And the only thing that would change was that they didn’t hate each other anymore. _

_ But their hatred had ebbed away so much that that scenario would be way too awkward. Rey would just have to satisfy herself with whatever it was that they had now. _

_ If only there was a way for her to know for sure what that was. _

 

“Will the ceremony  _ ever  _ begin?” Poe complained, draping an arm around Rey dramatically. “We’ve been waiting for, like,  _ forever. _ ”

“We waited this long in middle school, I think,” Jess pointed out.

“Yeah, and I complained then! Don’t judge me, Pava. I’m tired.”

Rey grinned. “I’m glad I wasn’t there to witness it, then. Honestly, I don’t think  _ any _ of us were near enough to you to hear you complaining.”

“Who’d you complain to?” Finn asked.

“John Crispino, of course. Not sure he was paying attention, but hey, you take what you can and you can what you take.”

Rey raised an eyebrow quizzically at his invented expression. But just as she was about to question him, she felt a tap on her shoulder and turned around, smile ready on her face.

Ben Solo stood in front of her, wringing his hands awkwardly, nails digging into his palms so much that it was probably hurting him. Rey nodded and smiled even wider.

“Oh, hi, Ben!” she said warmly. “What’s up?”

“Can I, uh, talk to you?”

“Yeah, sure. What do you want to say?”

He’d wanted to talk to her last graduation. What would he say this time? The same thing, or something different?

“Alone? Can I talk to you alone?”

“’Course.” Rey nodded at her friends, and they walked to the side, whispering confusedly among themselves. Then, she glanced back at Ben, looking up slightly to look him in the eyes.

“I just wanted to say…I’m sorry. I know I was a bad person in elementary school, and honestly, I could give reasons for that, but I can’t give an excuse. And it was really stupid of me to harass both you and Finn, and I’m sorry. But what’s worse than that is that after that, instead of apologizing, I just kinda ignored you and hoped that it would go away. And that was dumb of me, and I’m sorry. So I hope we can forgive each other and, uh…be friends, maybe. I’m sorry.”

Rey hesitated for barely a second before nodding. “I forgive you. Thank you for telling me this. Thank you so much.”

“I’m sorry for not telling you earlier. I should have-”

“Don’t.”

Rey stood on tiptoes and wrapped him in a tight hug. Tears pooled in her eyes, and she smiled to try and force them away.

“We all make mistakes in life, Ben. And it’s hard for  _ everyone  _ to face their fears. Don’t apologize for not doing it sooner.”

Ben returned the hug, and even though Rey couldn’t see his face, she could tell that he was about to protest. “I wasn’t-”

“You were. I could tell. And it’s okay, all right? In elementary school, at our graduation-”

Ben interrupted her with a laugh.

“I was terrified to do what I did. But hey, I did it anyway, right? It’s okay to be afraid, Ben. Don’t apologize for giving in to your fear.”

Ben nodded. “Thank you.”

“Want to sit down? The ceremony is starting soon.”

“Yeah.”

Rey took Ben’s hand and led him over to her friends. Finn, she noticed, had a question on his face, but he was courteous enough to merely smile in acceptance. Poe and Jess took the hint and moved to the side to make room for him.

The ceremony started in a couple of minutes. During that time, and even until their names were called, Ben and Rey’s hands stayed tight around each other. It was as if there was some kind of world made up of just them, and in this world everything was fragile and quiet, and broken shards of glass were beginning to repair themselves slowly but surely.

Friendship was a warm feeling, Rey decided. But reconciliation was even warmer.

 

_ Ben had gone to senior prom, even though there had been people who said that he hadn’t. He had borrowed a suit from a neighbor who had been more than enthusiastic to give it to him, and his mother had bought him a tie in a beautiful emerald green, and he had taken a mirror selfie before driving himself to the ballroom where it was being held. _

_ He had met up with Armi and Phasma, who gleefully informed him that they were going with each other and not-so-subtly sent him on his way. Then, he had walked through the crowd of dancing couples, trying to fool himself into thinking that he was getting food and nothing more, but actually looking around at his classmates, who were almost unrecognizable in heavy makeup and formal clothing. _

_ There was his cousin and his boyfriend Poe, both in suits and leaning into each other as they walked towards the photo booth. There were Armi and Phasma again (Ben ducked behind a pole so they didn’t see him and chew him out). And there was Rey, standing with someone who was unrecognizably Jess, chatting with one of their classmates – Victor, by the looks of it – arm lightly touching his shoulder as she laughed at a joke. _

_ It seemed as if everyone was talking to someone. Only Ben, always the awkward one, stood alone. _

Rey doesn’t like you. You’re fooling yourself if you think otherwise.

_ But that didn’t make it hurt less. That didn’t make it hurt less. That didn’t stop Ben from running to the bathroom, arm over his eyes in a feeble attempt to shield his tears. _

_ The bathroom was occupied by the locked handicapped stall, uncomfortably loud moans echoing through the room, and a blonde guy hurriedly brushing his long hair in the mirror. The duo met eyes and winced at each other. _

_ “They’ve been going at it for an hour, I think,” the blonde whispered. “I could hear it outside. I don’t even know – Hey, are you all right? You look sad. Want to, uh, talk about it?” _

_ “Not really,” Ben said. “Sorry.” _

_ He ducked into the nearest bathroom stall and placed his head on his knees to keep it from spinning. Tears escaped his eyes and soaked through the pants of his suit, but it wasn’t until the Wobble started sounding through the bathroom door that he finally found the courage to come out. Even then, he stayed in the back of the crowd, ignoring everyone, doing nothing but dancing robotically. _

_ The next day, Ben returned the suit to his neighbor, not in person, but by folding it up and placing it with a note on his doorstep. He didn’t think he could handle any questions about how the prom itself had gone. _

 

The ceremony was over, and so was that moment when everyone threw their graduation caps into the air. Still, Ben and Rey stood together, holding hands, even though all of their friends had already cleared out.

In the crowd, they were alone together. Ben couldn’t help but think about how calming it felt.

Rey looked up at him and smiled, and he smiled back, realizing all of a sudden the enormity of the situation. He had taken the first steps to confessing his true feelings. But if he didn’t take the last ones, then he never would.

He clenched the hand that wasn’t holding Rey’s tightly in his pocket. A soft wind blew into his face just as he began to speak, blowing his hair out of his face.

“Rey.”

“Yeah?”

Ben’s heart pumped so frantically that it was almost impossible to begin. But even so, he bit his lip and tried.

“Can I kiss you?”

Rey’s face was confused again. Ben was tempted to let go of her hand and run away, faster than he ever had in his life, and hide in the bathroom again. You couldn’t get rejected if you hid from the rejection.

But instead of looking disgusted, Rey nodded, mouth already opening and leaning into his. Her lips felt soft and warm and beautiful, everything that Ben had ever thought they would be and more. When they pulled apart after what felt like years and years, Ben felt the urge to fall to the ground in exhaustion.

Rey and Ben exchanged glances. It was such a strange moment that neither of them quite knew what to say.

“Ben,” Rey said finally. Ben looked down and saw that her face was still.

“Yeah?” he asked.

“I…I really liked that. That was nice.”

“Me, too.”

“And I like you.”

Ben nodded. “I like you, too.”

“But…”

Her palm was sweaty against his, and it seemed as if it took everything in her not to stare down at the stone beneath them.

“But?” Ben prompted.

“But I don’t think I can do this ‘dating’ thing just yet. I mean, no offense, but for, what was it, thirteen years?”

Ben opened his mouth to agree, but she answered her own question almost instantly.

“Yeah. All we did was hate each other. And we hated each other so much that we didn’t get the chance to  _ know  _ each other. You know? And I don’t want to date someone I don’t even know.”

Ben nodded. “I agree. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have rushed it so much.”

“No, I…it’s fine.”

“Okay. If you say so.”

Rey grinned and took her phone out of her pocket, still holding Ben’s hand tightly. After a couple of seconds of typing, she handed it to him, open to the Contacts app. As Ben typed in his number – and his e-mail address, birthday, and favorite color – Rey continued to talk.

“Finn and a couple of the others and I are going to hang out at Poe’s house for a little while. Want to come with? We’d be more than glad to have you.”

Ben handed back the phone and looked over at his parents. They were talking again, old eyes animated with new life, and in a flash, he realized that they were holding hands.

They were his parents again. They were his  _ family  _ again. And now, Ben knew exactly how to approach them.

“I think I’ll stay home tonight,” he said. “Maybe another time.”

Rey nodded. “I’ll be waiting.”

She turned around and saw Finn waving in her direction.

“I have to go now,” she said to Ben. “See you later?”

“See you later.”

Ben ran back towards his parents, arms outstretched for a wide hug.


End file.
